Thirstday Choir Practice #1
Drunkenly Compiled by Wang Chunks
Chris’s Northland Tavern (1610 W North Ave)
Thursday, December 1, 2011 at 6pm
So happy to know that you’re interested in learning a new song or two. Please remember that everyone sounds better after a few drinks–so please loosen up those pipes before attempting any of the material below. A few additional notes:
- Most of these songs have been blatently stolen. In some cases, credit has been assigned. Probably incorrectly.
- There are dozens of different versions of every hash song. These might be different than the ones you’ve heard. Oh, well.
- This set of songs below is intended to be a mix of short and long songs, new and old songs, originals and parodies, some you’ve heard at Thirstday H3 and others you haven’t. If you’d like to see specific songs featured in future choir practices, just yell more loudly than the other assholes in the room.
Today’s Songs
- She Likes It In The Kitchen
- Love Me Tender
- The Thirstday Cheer
- Out My Back Door
- You’re a Shitty Hare
- Some Die From Masturbation
- Nellie Darlin’
- The Scotsman
1. She Likes it in the Kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
She likes it in the kitchen
And kitchen means butt
2. Love Me Tender
Love me tender, love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me chuckle, watch me grin
As my cum drips down, down, down, down
3. The Thirstday Cheer
Note: This song is traditionally performed by 3-5 harriettes in circle who pantomime random cheerleading poses while serenading the pack.
Cocksucker, motherfucker, eat a bag of shit
Cunt hair, douche bag, bite your mama’s tit
We are the Thirstday Hash
All the others suck
Thirstday Hash
Thirstday Hash
Shit! Piss! Fuck!
4. Out My Back Door
Tune: Lookin’ Out My Back Door by CCR
Just got out of prison,
My asshole’s still-a-fizzin’,
Dreamin’ ’bout my friends
I left behind in cell block four.
They raped me in the showers,
It must have been for hours.
Now GOO, GOO, GOO’s running
Out my back door!
5. You’re a Shitty Hare
Tune: Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi
Notes: Sung to hares for shit-tastic trails. Written by Krusty the Meat Miser.
You should’ve used more flour or chalk
We followed your marks
They said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked
We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Pabst
You suck
You suck
You’ve got to hold on to the drink you’ve got
It doesn’t make a difference if it’s beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot… on trail… (NOTE: Show tits)
You’re drinking a lot!
Ohhh, there was no beer out there
Ohhh oh, you’re a shitty hare
Take some flour, and use it on trail
Ohhh oh, you’re a shitty hare
You’re a shitty hare! (NOTE: Simulate 80s hair band awesomeness)
6. Some Die From Masturbation
Some die from masturbation
And some from drinking beer
Some die from constipation
And some from gonorrhea
But of all the world’s diseases
There’s none that can compare
To the drip, drip, drip
Of the syphilitic prick
Of a Hash House Harrier
7. Nellie Darlin’
Note: Many hashers know the first verse and stop singing this song far too early. Learn some of the extra verses and have some fun with this. There are plenty more, but three verses is a good start. Clearly, this is a great song to serenade a harriette.
Oh, your ass is like a stovepipe, Nellie darling
And the nipples on your tits are turning green
There’s a thousand flies a-swarmin’ ‘round your pussy
You’re the nastiest fucking shit I’ve ever seen
There’s a yard of lint protruding from your naval
When you piss you piss a stream as green as grass
You have enough ear wax to make a candle
Why don’t you make one and shove it up your ass?
Your breath could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon
And your ingrown toenails exude a pus-y cream
Your nose hair’s long enough to braid or curl
Your every Thirstday hasher’s fucking dream
8. The Scotsman
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he drunk more than his share
He fumbled ‘round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let’s leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature’s call and stumbled towards a tree
Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what’s before his eyes
O lad I don’t know where you been but I see you won first prize
Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
O lad I don’t know where you been but I see you won first prize
