By The Enema Canal
HashSpace Whore

Hashed Mayday 2008, 7:30 PM
The Long Room at 1612 W. Irving Park Rd.

THIRSTDAY #230 -- After a fair turn-out in the Loop last week, despite the threat of rain, one can only expect what will happen when Chicago gets a little warmer. So we started at The Long Room on W. Irving Park Rd and we already had hashers getting ready for the trail before 7PM! Just Steve and Rear Loader where the first ones there and as more and more hashers arrived we received reports on flour spottings throughout the area. With this information, Dr. Poolittle and Happy Ass Grabber quickly got into the proper mental state, by testing the specialty microbrews. Others were trying to figure out the bag storage situation
which Cuma Slutra reluctantly agreed to help with despite the junk in her trunk. As we gathered for the Chalk Talk, Assflac and Likes It On The Bottom, our benevolent hares explained the blue flour they had sprinkled all over the city. In fact, Assflac marked Virgin Banger as part of the trail with his extra flour. Much to the delight of the kennel, we were informed of a Shot Stop and a Beer Stop and then we were off after our introductions.

Up in front were the usual crew of FRBs of Just Brian, Man-O-Whore, and Bank Of Spermerica, but this time some of us heard the unusual sound of deep breathing from our Virgin. Actually it was his dog, Bosworth (A giant Portuguese Water Dog), that we heard as he drug his owner, Just Kevin, down the street. Unfortunately, this couple (bestiality is best!) would unwittingly follow The Enema Canal down almost every single False, Back Check, and wrong Split. As for Puke Suit Riot, we have no idea who he followed as he soon became very lost and was forced to meet us later (actually we already had his money so we should have changed to an A-B hash.) Likes It On The Bottom had cum along to sweep the trail and at one point we interrogated her for true
trails. Along with our usual FRBs, we once again found Chicken Stiffer free ranging and finding the trail ahead of us.

Thanks to a lucky break, Enema was on trail and running with Just Kevin in hot pursuit, while Bang Me, Blow Me, Get Me Off and Cunt And Pasties was leading the rest of the pack. Well, they must have seen something as they found the Shot Stop at a playground while Enema led the virgin to a Back Check 6 with the virgin looking at him saying "What the hell does that mean?" Too Much Head for some reason decided to bring two civilians into the Shot Stop, a flagrant violation (she will drink for this). Leaving the Shot Stop, the pack came upon the trail heading up to tracks. Some of the Hash Zen Masters like Lifa and
Horn-E barely hesitated for the chance to run up and through shiggy with Just Steve and Just Rob closely following. Ram Van Thank You Ma'am, Slippery Box, Takes Too Long To Cum, and Rent A Virgin did the sensible thing and decided to take the rest on the low road. After the 1/8 mile piece of track the kennel found the Beer Stop which was also in a playground. Because Assflac was the actual Beer Stop he had to listen to the whining of the FRBs who searched the playground both high and low. Wrapper Snatcher got all excited and demanded free pushes on the tire swing.

With the beer exhausted, it was time to head (who said head?) back to the bar and get the circle going. EZ On The Ass, our Non Running Bastard, was already there waiting for the pack to show up. He's becoming more and more like a Hash Cheerleader (poor guy). We decided to hold the circle in the Biergarten before the drizzle could really start cuming down, and of course our music teacher Happy was glad to RA and lead. No pitchers or cups at The Long Room so we had to drink
our down-downs straight from the can. Bank Of Spermerica was our FRB and the FBI was none other than Bloody Thighs. Virgin Banger reminded everybody about the Polish Constitution Day and Memorial Day Hashes. We were also reminded that the bar did not serve food as the Tamale Man was practically attacked by Mount Schwiiinga. Dr. Poolittle was called out for being a hairdo twin of Bosworth the dog. With rowdiness reaching an all time high, Happy went with the Hail Mary and had us practice religion before freeing us to socialize. Many moved into the drier confines of the bar, some were smart enough to grab some chicken
from the neighboring Popeye's. Meanwhile Just Kevin was getting to know everybody while announcing to Enema that he would "NEVER follow you EVER again." Wrapper Snatcher up to her old tricks, needed very little prodding to shove Cuma Slutra, Enema, Just Steve, and Just Brian into the photo booth and prove that 5 hashers can fit in a photo booth (someone call Guinness.) Rear Loader took this opportunity to sell haberdashery, pulling it out of a bag like a guy in Manhattan offloading cheaper, unsweat-shoped handbags. The rest, well there was swapping of stories on namings, how so an so got involved, and of
course why the trails are always so shitty.


HARES (2): Assflac & Likes It On The Bottom
VIRGIN TERRITORY (1): Just Kevin
FRB/FBI (2): Bank Of Spermerica & Bloody Thighs
THE USUAL SUSPECTS (23): Just Brian; Just Steve; Just Rob; Bang Me,
Blow Me, Get Me Off; Rear Loader; Ram Van Thank You Ma'am; Dr.
Poolittle; Virgin Banger; Man-O-Whore; The Enema Canal; Puke Suit
Riot; Chicken Stiffer; Cuma Slutra; Cunt And Pasties; Too Much Head;
Lifa; Horn-E; Happy Ass Grabber; Slippery Box; Takes Too Long To Cum;
Rent A Virgin; Wrapper Snatcher & Mount Schwiiinga
THE LATE BUT STILL THIRSTY (1): EZ On The Ass